FINISH THAT THOUGHT #2-43 - RESULTS!

Congratulations! We had a fun week! If you missed any of the stories (or the one posted late and not judged), go check them out here. Finished? Great! Here's what the judge had to say:

I was really blown away by the stories this week and very grateful to you all for participating. There are some lovely twists, some great imagery and cunning and imaginative uses of the special challenge requirements.

Soooo

A “Dicken” of a Block by Lauren Greene

This was a tale well told of the tyranny of expectation. It isn't easy to stay at the summit. Xavier is in a bind hoping to emulate the Great Man; it was never going to be easy. Loved the ending: ‘If the words wouldn’t come at home, then he’d go to where the words would come... to destination unknown’

Ginger Nut by Susan

Here we have the problem of Ninja the cat and the misconstrued violence. This story has us hoping for a happy outcome, it teases us with that prospect. In truth by half way, any outcome that kept both protagonists alive was to be welcomed. This cat tyranny is beautifully drawn and the final advert a hoot.

Little Book of Horrors by Emily Clayton

A bookbinder with bad news, that is unexpected. The imagery is well done ‘I watched his false teeth jiggle against glistening gums’.  The stress is real enough as the MC ‘clutches an invisible stress ball’. Things look bleak until we realise the bookbinder has muddled the order. Phew.

Special Challenge Champion

…It Was The Worst of Times by Geoff Holme

This is fantastic. Something like ten Dickens titles which is amazing. Linking things looking ‘bleak’ with ‘house’ sales was neat. Also I enjoyed he had no ‘great expectations’ and ‘whistling a Christmas carol’.

Grand Champion

The value of nothing by Foy S. Iver

Where to start? The recurring tocktocktocktock is creepy as hell. The sinister dialogue, the stockbroker’s nerves and the suspiciously calm MC, the mobile toupee getting lost on the ‘otter brown carpet’. There’s something oddly surreal in some of the dialogue. I loved this and it was a convincing winner.

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #2-43

Welcome! I hope the first third of the year has treated you well. (It'll be May this week! What?!?!?) I'm looking forward to planting a few things in the garden and enjoying pleasant days outside. What are you looking forward to? Well, whatever it is, I hope there's not a police officer involved... Go check out the prompt and have fun! :)



If you haven't read the full version of the rules, go here. Otherwise, here's the short version:

Rules:
1. Start with the given first sentence.
2. Up to 500 words
3. Keep it clean (nothing rated R or above)
4. Optional Special Challenge
5. Stories submitted must be your own work, using characters and worlds that you have created. Sorry, no fanfiction.
6. Include: Twitter/email, word count, Special Challenge accepted
7. The challenge is open for 24 hours on Tuesday EST



Oh, and feel free to change pronouns, punctuation, tense, and anything in brackets to fit the story/pov/tone. I'm not going to be TOO picky... Our judge however...


Our Judge today is Geoff Le Pard also known as @geofflepard. Read his winning tale from last week here!  Check out his website here. Geoff Le Pard writes, walks and cooks. The dog approves two of his current career choices. Geoff has given birth to one novel, a second is on its way and he hopes for a large family.

 Your first sentence for FINISH THAT THOUGHT #2-43 is:


The [policeman] took off [his hat] as he said, "You should [sit down, sir]."

 Your SPECIAL CHALLENGE from the judge is:

Include three Charles Dickens' book titles.

 AAAAAAAND WE'RE OFF!!!

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #2-42 - RESULTS!

If you missed any of the stories this week, go check them out in the comments section here. Back? Great! Here's what the judge had to say:

Firstly, another thanks to our gracious host for her work in arranging this weekly jolly. Secondly, thanks to the writers who ventured into this week’s prompt. Sorry your results are a little short. It reflects my growing migraine, and not your wonderful writing. 

Hollygeely - Raisin Brain

The emotional turn at the end was a nice element in this story.

Audrey Gran Weinberg - Info Desk Delight

I like the clash between logical officiousness and personal expectation.

Honorable Mention

Susan - Served Cold

A soupćon of The Devil Wears Prada here, though I would have cheered that book more had its MC plotted revenge as carefully as this one.

Special Challenge Champion

Lauren Green - Truckin’

The main thing I like about this story is that the MC is not a nice person. Great to see someone moody, mean, and selfish being written as an MC.

Runner Up

Foy S. Iver - Steer Into The Curve

Really good premise. I’d love to see this worked up into a full story.

Grand Champion

geofflepard - The Secret in the Cellar

A lot of creepiness in this. Really nicely done, with a wide open ending which lets fearful thoughts percolate.

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #2-42

Welcome back! I'm so glad you could join us for another romp around the flash fiction gardens! Or, if you're like me and suffer from seasonal allergies, perhaps a garden romp doesn't sound so appealing? It's so disappointing to have absolutely gorgeous weather, but the moment you go outside it seems that every gland in your face both swells and leaks, not to mention the sneezes. Ah well, perhaps a romp in the office will suffice, BUT ROMP WE WILL! A LITTLE POLLEN WILL NOT STOP US! So onward friends! Write some wonderful romps! Have at you!



If you haven't read the full version of the rules, go here. Otherwise, here's the short version:

Rules:
1. Start with the given first sentence. (Allowable alterations listed below)
2. Up to 500 words
3. Keep it clean (nothing rated R or above)
4. Optional Special Challenge
5. Stories submitted must be your own work, using characters and worlds that you have created. Sorry, no fanfiction.
6. Include: Twitter/email, word count, Special Challenge accepted
7. The challenge is open for 24 hours on Tuesday EST



Oh, and feel free to change pronouns, punctuation, tense, and anything in brackets to fit the story/pov/tone. I'm not going to be TOO picky... Our judge however...


Our Judge today is Clive Tern. Read his winning tale from last week here! Clive writes poetry, flash fiction, and short stories from a secret redoubt in rural Perthshire, Scotland. When not writing, reading, educating (his two oldest children are home educated), or caring (various health issues in the family, from Epilepsy to autism to Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome), he likes to plan a menu, don his chefs jacket, and pretend to be the next Masterchef. He’s currently working on two projects, both collections of short stories. the first is to be a cycle of fifty stories, one for each US state - a challenge for someone who has never been there. The other is a collection of tales set on a non-earth world with a vague steampunk ethic - a challenge for someone who has never been there. Follow him on twitter @clivetern, and spot his occasional gripes about how hard writing is at www.clivetern.com.

 Your first sentence for FINISH THAT THOUGHT #2-42 is:



When we hit the [county/state/whatever] line we cheered.





 Your SPECIAL CHALLENGE from the judge is:


Include a description where the main character is compared to a fruit.

 AAAAAAAND WE'RE OFF!!!

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #2-41 - RESULTS!

Woohoo!!! Great job everyone! If you missed reading the stories, go check them out here. Now you can read what the judge had to say:

Thank you to everyone who participated, and I was thrilled to see that every entry took on at least one of the special challenges. I enjoyed the stories, and thank you all for making this a tough one to judge.

Pouring

by Susan @susanOReilly3

An intriguing exploration of chronic pain set to meter, and loose rhyme. I didn't realize the inherent poetry at first, but by the second paragraph, found myself falling into a sort of natural rhythm.

Heavy Cloud

by Alicia VanNoy Call   @callthewriter

A trip to an exotic land that is not all it's cracked up to be. The repetitions work well to get the reader into the feeling of the never-ending precipitation. This is a very effective piece at carrying heavy emotion.

Coffee and Donut

 By Emily Clayton @emilyiswriting

I like the playfulness of the aliens, and the novelty of how to extract knowledge from words - for us it comes so naturally. I particularly how Coffee described what the book tasted like to them.

Take Out

By Fred Yost @waidr

My curiosity is piqued as to the nature of Jade, and why she is unkillable, and also about the broader world of the mobs. This feels like a piece of a larger work, but also an inevitable conclusion bundled nicely in the presented piece.

The cross to the left

By Mark Driskill

An alternate telling of a well known tale, looking at the impact of the life (and death) of one who is normally cast as a background character. I like the parallels between this story, and the more commonly told tale.

Special Challenge Runner Up

Moments lost, like tears for rain

By David James Ashton  @davejamesashton

A great capture of the senses in a unique setting, and in so few words. The sense of loss of something so simple helps us to really understand the character.

Special Challenge Champion

Passing Storm

Lauren Greene @laurenegreene

Nice job on meeting both of the special challenges, particularly intriguing with a blind MC. I also like how you bring the idea of the storm back around as a metaphor for her experience.

Runner Up

An Act of Kindness

Geoff Leopard @geofflepard

I like this one, a story of connection, and re-connection in the rain. Plus, I have a fondness for London. I like how you managed to move away from the original feel of the rain, and make it circle around to joy.

Grand Champion

A Storm in Collar Gap

Stuart Turnbull @clivetern

Very compelling imagery, particularly along the taste and smell spectrum, and I like the slow build up to what happened. At the end I felt the mix of hope and sorrow, and the final release of the tears with the rain.

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #2-41

Welcome back for another round! I hope your April has been fantastic so far, and that it keeps getting better. Go check out the prompt and write something amazing. I know you can.




If you haven't read the full version of the rules, go here. Otherwise, here's the short version:

Rules:
1. Start with the given first sentence. (Allowable alterations listed below)
2. Up to 500 words
3. Keep it clean (nothing rated R or above)
4. Optional Special Challenge
5. Stories submitted must be your own work, using characters and worlds that you have created. Sorry, no fanfiction.
6. Include: Twitter/email, word count, Special Challenge accepted
7. The challenge is open for 24 hours on Tuesday EST



Oh, and feel free to change pronouns, punctuation, tense, and anything in brackets to fit the story/pov/tone. I'm not going to be TOO picky... Our judge however...


Our Judge today is Christy Shorey. Read her winning tale from last week here! Christy Shorey is a writer in Florida, where she lives with her husband and two cats. A librarian by day, she loves stories, and loves to learn how to craft them better, including the class she is currently in about Diversity and Narrative. Once class is done, she will return to any of three novels that are in various stages of their life. A 7-time NaNo WriMo winner, she tends towards novel length works, but loves flash fiction as both a challenge and respite from longer pieces.

She can be found on twitter (@weylyn42), on her blog (www.crushedmuffin.com), and at a joint website, presenting stories and webcomics by her and her sister (www.presumedhuman.com).

 Your first sentence for FINISH THAT THOUGHT #2-41 is:


It is not uncommon to get melancholy when it rains.





 Your SPECIAL CHALLENGE from the judge is:


Include all five senses, OR all seven colors of the rainbow (ROYGBIV).

 AAAAAAAND WE'RE OFF!!!

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #2-40 - RESULTS!

Woohoo! If you missed reading any of these stories, go check them out here. Otherwise, I won't waste any words and we'll get right to the judges comments:

Michael Simko: Spoiled

There are some wonderful throw away lines in this that inform the wider world (I particularly liked the one about the cats). There was also a feel of a wild riff on Bradbury’s story The Veldt. What is the ultimate toy a child can receive, and how will it be used. Very nicely done.

Miranda Gammella: unnamed fragment

As an amuse bouche this is inventive and involving. Too launch us into a WIP with no background was brave, and yet I felt that the details we have, the glimpse we have, of this creation was coherent and involving. I wish Mirja’a Upinde’s blessing on her quest of righteous revenge.

Dave James Ashton: Glark the Collector

An interesting take on the human experience as misery. I was reminded that it is good to think of how others see us, and what would the reaction be if they have the power to act on what they see.

Carolyn Astfalk: Busted

Some nicely comedic touches and we’re left unsure if this is a fangirl, or actually a survivor of a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. There was a small issue with a cell battery that I struggled to reconcile.

Honorable Mention

Lauren Greene: Frayne’s Sacrifice

This grew on me with each reading. Frayne’s discovery of Bash and her new life, and his comprehension of what that meant were nicely played. The shared dialogue was delightfully Mars/Venus in tone, and the last line is lovely.

Special Challenge Runner Up

Studyleaks: Returning Home

This was a story that left me wanting more. I want this story, but much bigger and longer. It built in crescendo, and we are taken to the brink of knowledge the alien wishes, only to be remade in the hands of a child. I love the conscious effort the MC takes to retain its new found humanity.

Runner up

Foy S. Iver: WC:337

I was delighted with the line I provided for this weeks prompt. I love the way it is challenged by the second line used in this story. Then I get to the end of the story and find that the Special Challenge has also been subverted. Very clever writing.

Grand AND Special Challenge Champion

Christy: Silent Night

Genderless protagonists are difficult in the English language - we tend to default one way or another. This story provides a being who responds to stimuli, who has feelings and desire, but is uncontaminated by gender. I love the response to the wind chime, and that last sentence casts open a door to a back story that is the end of humanity itself. Terrific.