Friday, May 30, 2014

Clinging to the Shallows, Yearning for the Deep

If finally wrote another flash fiction piece! It's been a while. I've been working on the edits of my third draft of my first novel and writing my second novel and reading a bunch...not to mention being a wife and mother. One thing I've learned: Editing all the time is hard, stifling. I needed a break. SO...I'm back writing creative stuff for the moment! :)

I jumped back in to Flash! Friday (I'm currently a judge for this rotation, so I can't win) over at Rebekah Postupak's blog. The prompt word: Freedom. The picture prompt:

Earth goddess. Imaginary Worlds exhibit, Atlanta Botanical Garden. Photo by C. Joey Ivansco. Used by permission.
Earth goddess. Imaginary Worlds exhibit, Atlanta Botanical Garden. Photo by C. Joey Ivansco.

How could I pass this up??? What intrigued me most about the picture was that it looked like she was looking into her hand. What was in there? That's where my mind started....I hope you like where it ended up!


Clinging to the Shallows, Yearning for the Deep


The large hand dipped into the pool. I darted away. That was close!
I huddled by the waterfall; maybe she wouldn’t see me among the bubbles.

Her hand dipped in again, dangerously close, the tip of her grass-covered finger brushed over my scales like algae.

I swam to the bottom of the pool, staying as still as possible. That was my big mistake; I couldn’t see her surrounding me.

She lifted me out of my pool; precious water fell over the edge. No! I’ll suffocate! I tried to jump over with it, but she had me trapped.

“Let me go! I’ll die!”

“Death brings forth new life. Trust me.”

I flopped on her now damp hand, gasping for breath. “Please! I want to be free!” I begged, yearning for the safety and comfort of my pool.


“And so you shall be.” Her breath blew over me like hot coals. I hopped once, opened my wings, and soared on her wind.




Wednesday, May 28, 2014

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #47 - RESULTS!





Well, if that little romp didn't get your feet tapping and your fingers snapping...you were trying to drown out the noise with fingers in your ears and a bunch of "la, la, la, las". Did you get any of the songs stuck in your head??? If you missed the musical score to the lives of some very different people, go check out the stories here. Otherwise, let's read what the judge had to say!




Mark - I like the government broadcasting music into peoples’ brains. Awesome and horrifying at once, and the ending? Eek!  Definitely a fun little SF story.

Emily - I loved the examples of the wrong soundtrack. 28 days of “Uptown Girl” - shudder! And I’m ok with not getting any actual answer to “why”. This was fun.

JM - Oooh, a straight take on the prompt. I like how you keep returning to the music and the ending was great. I guess not having the tunes match wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to Kelsi.

mysoulstears - Great examples of the wrong songs. We’ve all had those moments and they rang so true.  Plus you drew such a complete picture of this one guy’s day. Rang totally true. Nicely done.

Anonymous (365 Days of Christmas) - aww. Thanks for the Christmas in May. I get the urge to sing Christmas songs at all different times, and the way you worked this into a slice of life story with character growth and depth really worked for me.



Special Challenge Champion - Emily, for a February’s worth of “Uptown Girl”




Grand Champion - 365 Days of Christmas (Marie), for making me say “aww”




Monday, May 26, 2014

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #47




Happy, happy day! And welcome back! I'm so glad you could join in the fun today. I hope the prompt proves inspiring for you. I can't wait to read your stories. So get to it already! :)



If you need to read the full version of the rules, go here. Otherwise, here's the short version:

Rules:
1. Up to 500 words
2. Keep it clean (nothing rated R or above)
3. Start with the given first sentence.
4. Optional Special Challenge
5. Include: Twitter/email, word count, Special Challenge accepted
6. The challenge is open for 24 hours on Tuesday EST



Oh, and feel free to change pronouns, punctuation, tense, and anything in brackets to fit the story/pov/tone. I'm not going to be TOO picky... Our judge however...

Our Judge today is Kate Julicher 
also known as @KateJulicher. Read her winning tale from last week here!



 Your first sentence for FINISH THAT THOUGHT #47 is:


Sometimes it seems like whoever's arranging the soundtrack to my life is watching the wrong thing.



 Your SPECIAL CHALLENGE from the judge is:


Include a Billy Joel song reference: lyrics, title, whatever.


 
AAAAAAAND WE'RE OFF!!!






Thursday, May 22, 2014

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #46 - RESULTS!




And the judge has spoken! If you missed all the fun, go check out all the stories here. If you want to know who won and what the judge had to say about the stories, well then, read on:



I was pleasantly surprised in such a good way with all of these entries! The challenge I was Grand Champion of was the first ever one I'd participated in, so even participating this way, I was still a tiny bit out of my element. But you all made this experience so much and totally worth it! Thank you for all of your words!

Alice Wilson - Talk about a tear-jerker here. Every daughter's worse nightmare. It was horrible in a really good, really well-written sort of way. The dying image of the father you painted made me tear up a bit, but then the memories and reminiscing had the tears spilling over. Line that stuck with me: I glance around the once happy home of a girl and her father, but now all I see is bare walls.

emilykarn - I so did not see it ending there when I first started reading. I loved this! A revenge made so much more sweet. Your main character seriously scares the poop out of me. She can see ghosts and she killed her father?! Not a chick to mess with. Line that stuck with me: "Enjoy your death dad." I shut the door behind me. Finally I had closure.

Kate - I was so confused at the beginning, but as I was reading I had a feeling, and then that ending. Freaking brilliant, dude! Time travel stories make my mind go crazy, and there was no exception for this one. Just so many things to ponder. Like are they stuck in a loop now?! Ohemgee. Ow. My brain. Line that stuck with me: I pushed the knob. x2

Stella - I had to read this one twice. You have such a great set up that leaves the reader thinking, "Did I freaking miss something?!" I can't help but wonder about the hate and hostility behind the narrator. I always try to give the benefit of the doubt when I don't know both sides, and when it ended, I was like nooooooooo! Can I request a synopsis of your mind when you thought of this story? Line that stuck with me: It’s bad enough his blood courses through my body.

JM MacF - You had me pulled in at the second sentence. Your narrator, standing up for his mother, that just makes me so happy. Especially with the scoundrel act dear old Dad just committed. I say smear his name all over. Line that stuck with me: My mind made up, I braced my hands against his desk and loomed over him.



Special Challenge Champion - Stella - I seriously need a follow up to this one made up of like an entire background story...please and thank you ;)



Grand Champion - Kate - This one is still making my mind spin. It's so frustrating and baffling in an extremely good way.





Monday, May 19, 2014

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #46




WooHoo! Welcome back, friends! I hope you all brought your thinking caps because I am prepared to be wow'ed by your awesome stories. :) No beating around the bush today (I'm reading a book...I need to get back to it...carry on!). Go check out the prompts and get those wheels turning!



If you need to read the full version of the rules, go here. Otherwise, here's the short version:

Rules:
1. Up to 500 words
2. Keep it clean (nothing rated R or above)
3. Start with the given first sentence.
4. Optional Special Challenge
5. Include: Twitter/email, word count, Special Challenge accepted
6. The challenge is open for 24 hours on Tuesday EST



Oh, and feel free to change pronouns, punctuation, tense, and anything in brackets to fit the story/pov/tone. I'm not going to be TOO picky... Our judge however...

Our Judge today is CeeCee 
also known as @chinchinunicorn. Go check out her facebook page here. Read her winning tale from last week here!



 Your first sentence for FINISH THAT THOUGHT #46 is:


If my dad was willing to forget the last few seconds of his life, well then, so was I.



 Your SPECIAL CHALLENGE from the judge is:


Include the words: fate, top, trace.


 
AAAAAAAND WE'RE OFF!!!





Friday, May 16, 2014

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #45 - RESULTS!





I'll keep my remarks short, since I'm getting this posted late (sorry!). If you missed the fun (and, boy, did you miss the fun!), go check out the stories here. Otherwise, let's read what the judge had to say (Thanks, Caitlin!):




Well golly! I was just blown away by how many awesome stories were waiting for me! I am so glad you all came to Finish That Thought this week! I had a great deal of fun reading everyone's stories this week and had an excruciating time picking winners! Everyone took the prompt and just ran away with it, from mountains to deep in the heart of terrifying forests to kitchens where hearts were spilled. In the beginning of each review is a quote from the piece that stood out to me. So, here we go!

Jessica West
                He drew up short to keep from knocking her off the side of the mountain and into the creek far below. He wouldn’t mind the quiet, but the villagers used the shallow stream to wash their clothes.
                Great use of words! So many small hints set the characters’ personalities better than ordinary description. From Bogarts precision to not knock Martha off the mountain to Martha’s tight braid of gray hair so much is shown. The story unfolded smoothly and the justification at the end left me with a strange case of warm fuzzies. What a fun little twist.

Casey Rose
                How could I explain my mother’s machinations to a fox?
                I loved how the beginning and end coincided, once I realized that I read the story again and saw so much more. I imagined the girl to be young because of her ease with which she accepted everything in The Enchanted Wood. The wood had a slight Alice in Wonderland feel to it that I quite enjoyed. There was a lightness to the story that added a fun touch to the tale.

Chin Chin Unicorn
                Maybe then you’d be here now with your wide-blues and yellow curls, seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. How did you survive this long anyhow?”
                With the force of the narrator’s voice the beginning felt almost harsh which created an extremely intriguing start. I wanted to read more immediately. And I wanted to keep reading after the story was finished. Your use of characters was fascinating, how the narrator kept talking to and speaking of ‘you’ and the hostility and annoyance this conveyed. The sarcasm throughout gave the story a sly tone which balanced extremely well with the man’s grieving.

@Ali_OMalley
                If only she’d known what she was walking into, where she was walking to, but in those modern times people had forgotten folklore.
                In the first paragraph I could already envision a 6 year old girl traipsing off into the forest to follow some sweet boy. You set that up quickly in so few words. The hint at myths forgotten that actually held truth was a great touch. I wanted to learn more. And even though Alice regrets so much she cannot overcome her instincts which was fascinating. The ending did have me wondering what became of the boy since Alice didn’t die completely when she went into the wood.

Emily Karn

                His eyes desperately searched the deepening gloom.
                What a fun title! The detail in the setup was quite impressive. The tiniest details helped to give this story a unique depth. This was a fun adventure story that was enjoyable to read and gave me a chuckle at the end. If I ever got lost in that woods I would hope Alyxzandyr would be by my side.

Pratibha
                The leaves crunch under her dancing steps rhythmically swirling with her pirouettes.
                I felt like a leaf dancing and twirling around the protagonist’s feet, enchanted right along with her. With her brief thoughts of the life she was leaving behind the piece came off as a story within a story. The reader knew the protagonist was truly entranced for how easily she said goodbye to her life. What was the last thing she had to do? She was surprised to see her son so I assumed it wasn’t him.

Charles Short
                I wish I had continued enjoying the journey. I wish I had continued making my notes. I wish I had stayed on the path.
                What starts out as a simple beginning turns into a deeply impactful end. The truth that one simple thing can have such a huge impact on one’s life, even if that doesn’t seem like it at the time, stood out from this tale. The journey of this man with one simple job that he was so desperate to prove to the King that he destroyed on his own stayed with me long after the story ended. Excellent job.

My Souls Tears
                It wasn’t the first time I’d heard those words. It wouldn’t be the last. I’d make certain of that.
                This story left me with a profound feeling. The protagonist’s need to have Tim understand where he was at struck deep within me. To have the knowledge that Tim would never change his mind was heartbreaking. And though there was sadness I was so proud of the main character for stepping off the path and realizing that his dreams could be so much more than the status quo.

Samantha
                You’ve heard the rumors ever since you were a child - the whispering voices that swirl through the trees, the mysterious figures spied by late-night joggers, the children who wander off to play and are never heard from again. And yet here you are.
                Loved the second person point of view. The setup was fantastic. Telling the reader what to do but still leave open ended questions was a great spin. The flow of the story was great. The story gets progressively more downtrodden, building intensity with every sentence. I know I should have felt scared or anxious but I was mostly exhilarated to see what would happen to “me”. I was definitely not disappointed.

Mary
                Pouty lips pulled down in a frown as she examined her forested surroundings. Back and forth, back and forth she paced under a rhododendron leaf with the tulip bulb clutched firmly to her bosom.
                And I now know where all the tulips go! This was a fun pixie-size story. I loved the perception we got from the protagonist; from the beast of a cat to the giant human it was fun to read what was happening from a new perspective. With a Tinkerbell vibe, this had me smiling the entire time. I could just picture Hetty tumbling back into her world all discombobulated.

Rebekah Postupak
                The darkness curled slowly, implacably around my ankles and the laughter rotted away in my mouth.
                I’m still reeling from the twist at the end! The entire story I was thinking one thing and I completely had it turned around. The love these sisters had for each other was so apparent even through their differences. And to see the thoughts that came through during the last moments on either side of the wall was almost intimate to read. Every emotion was able to come through in this short piece.

Erin
                He cursed furiously under his breath and stomped on an unfortunate snail who happened to be passing by. “Any other day, girl. Any. Other. Day.”
                The title added so much to the story. I loved the vibe it set off for the beginning of the story. We were thrown right into the middle of everything and it was intense but hilarious. The complexities of the wolf balanced with the innocence of Ruby to give the reader a little bit of everything. The female wolf created a fun and quirky twist toward the end allowing the reader to never know what was really going to happen until the end of this Red Riding Hood rendition.



Special Challenge Runner Up: Charles - The interesting thing about your forest was that it seemed completely ordinary until the protagonist stepped on the path. Suddenly the forest was all consuming, never letting him out of it’s grasp. I thought that was a very unique take on the challenge.


Special Challenge Champion: Rebekah - What a forest! Everything about this forest was both enchanting and haunting and it cast a beautiful spell over the entire story.



Grand Champion Runner Up: Erin - Your entire story had me grinning. The personality that was portrayed by the actions of a wolf was mind blowing. I craved to have more to the story after it ended.


Grand Champion: Chin Chin Unicorn - Your story was so unique and entertaining, it had me reading and rereading. There were so many moments where you finessed the situation perfectly to create a balance of the situation at hand.




Again, thank you to everyone who participated this week, what a pleasure to have so many great flash fiction pieces! Congratulations to Chin Chin Unicorn. Here’s the judges torch, enjoy and have fun!






Monday, May 12, 2014

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #45




Heeeeeelllllooooooooooooooo! And welcome back!!! For Mother's Day my hubby let me go to the library for almost four hours to work on my book. I made mad progress!!! WooHoo!!! (I still have a long way to go, but visible progress is impressive for a glacier!) I'm glad you've made it back here for another week. I'm looking forward to reading your stories! Go check out the prompt and get to it! :)



If you need to read the full version of the rules, go here. Otherwise, here's the short version:

Rules:
1. Up to 500 words
2. Keep it clean (nothing rated R or above)
3. Start with the given first sentence.
4. Optional Special Challenge
5. Include: Twitter/email, word count, Special Challenge accepted
6. The challenge is open for 24 hours on Tuesday EST



Oh, and feel free to change pronouns, punctuation, tense, and anything in brackets to fit the story/pov/tone. I'm not going to be TOO picky... Our judge however...

Our Judge today is Caitlin Siem 
also known as @CaitlinStatus. Go check out her blog here. Read her winning tale from last week here!



 Your first sentence for FINISH THAT THOUGHT #45 is:


You should've stayed on the path.



 Your SPECIAL CHALLENGE from the judge is:


Include either an enchanted or haunted forest.


 
AAAAAAAND WE'RE OFF!!!






Thursday, May 8, 2014

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #44 - RESULTS!




Thanks so much for writing! I really enjoyed the stories this week! There were a bunch of late entries, so if you missed them, check them out here. I actually had so much fun reading them that I might have to throw out a few comments of my own! :) Here are the judges comments (with a few I-can't-help-myself comments from me!):




Emily Karn -

Enjoyed the enthusiasm written in words. I could feel the mild distress. (I was totally caught up in the crash and the confusion. I wanted to know what had happened. And while the ending wasn't particularly my cup of tea, I was impressed that you used 'fantasy' in a way I didn't expect. Plus, I think you were the only story that actually put all the words in - at least on my one reading. Well done.)

Casey Rose --

Ah, my childhood imagination relived as this epic tale unravels to the not-so-extraordinary ending of a father's inability to recognize the creative potential of children's minds. I loved it through and through. (Your story is so visceral! I could feel the tension in the air and the beating of their hearts. Your language was just beautiful to read. Falling asleep waiting for aliens to come will certainly draw brothers closer. Great job!)

Storeroomoftheheart---

Wonderful scientific discoveries. His knowledge will be of vast benefit to our kind. (So much fun! I had so many more questions than you had answers. You had me completely bought in to the conundrum. Well done!)

JM MacF ----

The humor and seriousness in this man as he is under pressure is well felt. I loved it. My second favorite. (HAHAHAHA! I was invested from the beginning in the escape. The description of the alien was enough for me to guess, but not enough for a clear picture - which is fun. It was a wild from from beginning to end, and what an end! I laughed so hard. Great job!)




Special Challenge Champion: Rebekah Postupak for all of those random encounters in and out of space. (A fun and interesting take on Cupid and the disastrous effects of his meddling arrows. You painted the picture of the poor alien girl on the car to perfection and captured that balance of giddiness and understanding in her as the scene unfolded. You had me so caught up in her view of him that when he winked I even had a moment when I thought, just maybe, he wasn't the huge jerk he seemed...)



Grand Champion: Written Between Covers for that surreal planetary supernova [though it wasn't a supernova at all but still fun to say] and that hint of deceit that greets us every day. The story was compelling and breathtaking. (Yeah. What can I say? I loved it. The world-building (or destroying, I should say) was phenomenal and intriguing. Her struggle was vivid. And that betrayal at the end...)




Monday, May 5, 2014

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #44




WOOHOO! Let's go for another round!!! I'm excited to read what you come up with this week. I'm tearing through my own edits (and by 'tearing though' I mean glacially - I am slowly and inexorably moving toward my goal one millimeter at a time...in case anyone was wondering on my progress which I haven't updated in way too long...), so if you've noticed I haven't written much recently, now you know why. You've satisfied your curiosity, and now you can go write. So do it! Off you go! Write like the wind! (Why are you still reading this?) (I said go...) (really?) (still?) Hee Hee Hee. I'll stop talking now. :)



If you need to read the full version of the rules, go here. Otherwise, here's the short version:

Rules:
1. Up to 500 words
2. Keep it clean (nothing rated R or above)
3. Start with the given first sentence.
4. Optional Special Challenge
5. Include: Twitter/email, word count, Special Challenge accepted
6. The challenge is open for 24 hours on Tuesday EST



Oh, and feel free to change pronouns, punctuation, tense, and anything in brackets to fit the story/pov/tone. I'm not going to be TOO picky... Our judge however...

Our Judge today is Julie Gold
. Read her winning tale from last week here!



 Your first sentence for FINISH THAT THOUGHT #44 is:


The notion was irrational, but when I became conscious of the fact it was already too late.



 Your SPECIAL CHALLENGE from the judge is:


Stars, space ships, planets, aliens, robots, fantasy. (I'm going to clarify that you need to use at least three of these things. You can certainly use all if you would like, but you can use three and qualify for the special challenge. Thanks!)


 
AAAAAAAND WE'RE OFF!!!





Thursday, May 1, 2014

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #43 - RESULTS!




Yay! Thanks to everyone for joining in the fun! I would try to alliterate something, but I didn't get enough sleep last night and my brain isn't working. You all did a much better job yesterday. I've got nothing. ;) If you missed the fun, go check out the stories here. Otherwise, let's see what the judge had to say!





What a fun time I had judging this week!  The stories were all delightful and so many of you took the prompt away from diametrically and made it your own.  I was also pleasantly surprised with how some of you met the alliteration challenge with finesse.  Thumbs up all around! 

 

“Danger” Dixon: Detective: I love the name, the job, and the strong, snappy voice of the character, but I was disappointed with how little detective work went on in this piece.  I’d love to know how she made the rescue!  Also, if the enclave only accepted couples, how did the dog pass the test? Haha.  But overall, a very diverting read.

 

Ten Shillings If It’s Fresh:  Your story screams that it is part of a larger literary work.  You have a good flow between dialogue and story.  I’ll make sure not to bump into James any time soon!  An interesting world to say the least.

 

Adventures In Food:  Now this is an adventure anyone can have!  I thoroughly enjoyed wandering the grocery aisles with the main character.  However, I don’t think I’ll share that diet of sugar wafers and sodas.  Very well written.

 

Dolled Kitten:  I sympathize with poor Adara-- I would despise having a governess like that.  I adored how you depicted waking up as an invasion of a fantasy kingdom.  The imagery was vivid and the tale well told.  I can still feel the puppy slobber on my toes!

 

Rooftop Romance: I chortled, chuckled, and cheered the whole way through!  Loved how you took the special challenge and made it a part of the story.  It was cute, fun, and well written.  Charlie is quite a bold boy for this being his first "real" conversation with his teammate.  Hopefully Chasidy said no to that kiss!

 

MurMade:  A lovely tale that read like a combination between Tom Sawyer and Treasure Island.  You have an amazing ability to create a world in just 500 words!  I actually had to double check your count and make sure it was under the limit.  Very fun. And, Marie, you win my gardening challenge! Although smashing squash shouldn't be rewarded, at least they were punished for it! :)

 

And now to the winners…

 

Special Challenge Champion: The writer who truly triumphed the trying challenge is….. writtenbetweencovers.  Your story speaks for itself.  Just brilliant.

 

Grand Champion:  Dolled Kitten!  Your story was a beautiful weaving of words.

 


Congrats to the winners and good luck to Dolled Kitten in judging next week!