I'll keep my remarks short, since I'm getting this posted late (sorry!). If you missed the fun (and, boy, did you miss the fun!), go check out the stories here. Otherwise, let's read what the judge had to say (Thanks, Caitlin!):
Well golly! I was just blown away by how many awesome
stories were waiting for me! I am so glad you all came to Finish That Thought
this week! I had a great deal of fun reading everyone's stories this week and
had an excruciating time picking winners! Everyone took the prompt and just ran
away with it, from mountains to deep in the heart of terrifying forests to
kitchens where hearts were spilled. In the beginning of each review is a quote
from the piece that stood out to me. So, here we go!
Jessica West
He drew up short to keep from knocking her
off the side of the mountain and into the creek far below. He wouldn’t mind the
quiet, but the villagers used the shallow stream to wash their clothes.
Great
use of words! So many small hints set the characters’ personalities better than
ordinary description. From Bogarts precision to not knock Martha off the
mountain to Martha’s tight braid of gray hair so much is shown. The story
unfolded smoothly and the justification at the end left me with a strange case
of warm fuzzies. What a fun little twist.
Casey Rose
How could I explain my mother’s machinations
to a fox?
I loved
how the beginning and end coincided, once I realized that I read the story
again and saw so much more. I imagined the girl to be young because of her ease
with which she accepted everything in The Enchanted Wood. The wood had a slight
Alice in Wonderland feel to it that I quite enjoyed. There was a lightness to
the story that added a fun touch to the tale.
Chin Chin Unicorn
Maybe then you’d be here now with your
wide-blues and yellow curls, seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. How
did you survive this long anyhow?”
With
the force of the narrator’s voice the beginning felt almost harsh which created
an extremely intriguing start. I wanted to read more immediately. And I wanted
to keep reading after the story was finished. Your use of characters was
fascinating, how the narrator kept talking to and speaking of ‘you’ and the
hostility and annoyance this conveyed. The sarcasm throughout gave the story a
sly tone which balanced extremely well with the man’s grieving.
@Ali_OMalley
If only she’d known what she was walking
into, where she was walking to, but in those modern times people had forgotten
folklore.
In the
first paragraph I could already envision a 6 year old girl traipsing off into
the forest to follow some sweet boy. You set that up quickly in so few words.
The hint at myths forgotten that actually held truth was a great touch. I
wanted to learn more. And even though Alice regrets so much she cannot overcome
her instincts which was fascinating. The ending did have me wondering what
became of the boy since Alice didn’t die completely when she went into the
wood.
Emily Karn
His eyes desperately searched the deepening gloom.
What a
fun title! The detail in the setup was quite impressive. The tiniest details
helped to give this story a unique depth. This was a fun adventure story that
was enjoyable to read and gave me a chuckle at the end. If I ever got lost in
that woods I would hope Alyxzandyr would be by my side.
Pratibha
The leaves crunch under her dancing steps
rhythmically swirling with her pirouettes.
I felt
like a leaf dancing and twirling around the protagonist’s feet, enchanted right
along with her. With her brief thoughts of the life she was leaving behind the
piece came off as a story within a story. The reader knew the protagonist was
truly entranced for how easily she said goodbye to her life. What was the last
thing she had to do? She was surprised to see her son so I assumed it wasn’t
him.
Charles Short
I wish I had continued enjoying the journey.
I wish I had continued making my notes. I wish I had stayed on the path.
What
starts out as a simple beginning turns into a deeply impactful end. The truth
that one simple thing can have such a huge impact on one’s life, even if that
doesn’t seem like it at the time, stood out from this tale. The journey of this
man with one simple job that he was so desperate to prove to the King that he
destroyed on his own stayed with me long after the story ended. Excellent job.
My Souls Tears
It wasn’t the first time I’d heard those
words. It wouldn’t be the last. I’d make certain of that.
This
story left me with a profound feeling. The protagonist’s need to have Tim
understand where he was at struck deep within me. To have the knowledge that
Tim would never change his mind was heartbreaking. And though there was sadness
I was so proud of the main character for stepping off the path and realizing
that his dreams could be so much more than the status quo.
Samantha
You’ve heard the rumors ever since you were
a child - the whispering voices that swirl through the trees, the mysterious
figures spied by late-night joggers, the children who wander off to play and
are never heard from again. And yet here you are.
Loved
the second person point of view. The setup was fantastic. Telling the reader
what to do but still leave open ended questions was a great spin. The flow of
the story was great. The story gets progressively more downtrodden, building
intensity with every sentence. I know I should have felt scared or anxious but
I was mostly exhilarated to see what would happen to “me”. I was definitely not
disappointed.
Mary
Pouty lips pulled down in a frown as she
examined her forested surroundings. Back and forth, back and forth she paced
under a rhododendron leaf with the tulip bulb clutched firmly to her bosom.
And I
now know where all the tulips go! This was a fun pixie-size story. I loved the
perception we got from the protagonist; from the beast of a cat to the giant
human it was fun to read what was happening from a new perspective. With a
Tinkerbell vibe, this had me smiling the entire time. I could just picture
Hetty tumbling back into her world all discombobulated.
Rebekah Postupak
The darkness curled slowly, implacably
around my ankles and the laughter rotted away in my mouth.
I’m
still reeling from the twist at the end! The entire story I was thinking one
thing and I completely had it turned around. The love these sisters had for
each other was so apparent even through their differences. And to see the
thoughts that came through during the last moments on either side of the wall
was almost intimate to read. Every emotion was able to come through in this
short piece.
Erin
He cursed furiously under his breath and
stomped on an unfortunate snail who happened to be passing by. “Any other day,
girl. Any. Other. Day.”
The
title added so much to the story. I loved the vibe it set off for the beginning
of the story. We were thrown right into the middle of everything and it was
intense but hilarious. The complexities of the wolf balanced with the innocence
of Ruby to give the reader a little bit of everything. The female wolf created
a fun and quirky twist toward the end allowing the reader to never know what
was really going to happen until the end of this Red Riding Hood rendition.
Special Challenge Runner Up: Charles - The interesting thing
about your forest was that it seemed completely ordinary until the protagonist
stepped on the path. Suddenly the forest was all consuming, never letting him
out of it’s grasp. I thought that was a very unique take on the challenge.
Special Challenge Champion: Rebekah - What a forest!
Everything about this forest was both enchanting and haunting and it cast a
beautiful spell over the entire story.
Grand Champion Runner Up: Erin - Your entire story had me
grinning. The personality that was portrayed by the actions of a wolf was mind
blowing. I craved to have more to the story after it ended.
Grand Champion: Chin Chin Unicorn - Your story was so unique
and entertaining, it had me reading and rereading. There were so many moments
where you finessed the situation perfectly to create a balance of the situation
at hand.
Again, thank you to everyone who participated this week,
what a pleasure to have so many great flash fiction pieces! Congratulations to
Chin Chin Unicorn. Here’s the judges torch, enjoy and have fun!
