Congrats to everyone and thanks for coming out to play! If you missed any of the stories, read them here. Here's what the judge had to say:
First, thank you, Alissa, for inviting us over to play every
week! It might feel like pure fun but we’re working, stretching our writerly
muscles. And thanks to everyone who came out to contribute. We had 9 entries and all of them were good in
their own rite! (This is a disturbed bunch; I expect to be awake and clutching
the covers for a few nights after this.) On to the results…
Conspiracy Theory – Parkinkspot - Our
stories kicked off this week with one of my favorite genres, Sci-Fi! Framed as
a husband concerned about subtle changes in his wife’s tastes (listening to “Angry
Femme” music rather Country, wearing make-up, and getting manicures), we’re led
to surmise with him on everything from a mid-life crisis, to an affair, to a robot
replacement. In the end, however, it’s poor
Doug that “Detroit Robotics” comes for. Perhaps he shouldn’t have been so
curious.…
Who is He? – Geoff LePard - A
wonderful story that would probably have me rolling if I watched the show.
Thankfully, I have enough friends on Facebook who post about this Mr. Dr. Who
that I recognized “who” he was. (See what I did there?) Many of those same
friends would give anything to be in this woman’s place, waking up next to The
Good Doctor. You might’ve convinced me to give the show another try. ;)
Positive Thinking – Geoff Holme - This
bit of fiction tickled my brain: from the inciting event (“It was a
step-ladder!”) to his wife’s “power of 'Persuasion’” (taking a hardcover to her
husband’s noggin’), I thoroughly enjoyed it! The end left me cheering, “good
for her!” Whoever let a little phobia
get in the way of their daughter’s wedding?
Presence in the Night
– realmommaramblings - And here’s another of the brilliantly creepy stories this week. Reading
this, I struggled to breathe, feeling that familiar suffocation of a semi-dream
state. You know the dream. The one where you’re paralyzed and a shadow is
hovering over you, your chest won’t expand to bring in oxygen, and then you’re
falling and the ground is coming up fast and then…you’re awake. Only the vision
clings to your mind, leaving you to check the closets and under beds. Nicely
done.
Ideal Self – Christy - Another
Sci-Fi twist! This time we find a wife wondering at the changes in her husband,
only to realize she’s the one who’s different. His caresses and voice are not
the same but perhaps that’s because he knows she isn’t truly his wife? We’re
left to speculate. The last lines are chilling–“Checking how Patrice's first
day went – if there were any problems with her transfer let us know.” This
“duplihuman” protagonist deserves her own novel.
Fallen Apple – realmommaramblings - Wow!
Opening with raw dialogue and ending with a clever perspective switch, this
story depicts the erosive power of addiction. After enduring hardships a
daughter shouldn’t have to survive, the protagonist succumbs to her past
demons, proving that the apple truly doesn’t fall far from this rotting tree. So
sad.
Special Challenge Champion - The Eyes on the Shelf – Emily Clayton - Does it get much creepier than a demonic
teddy bear? Probably not. Oh, wait it does. An ex who’s sold his soul to come
stalk you! That raspy voice (“I SEE YOU, I SMELL YOU, I TASTE YOU”) chains us
to the words as they unfold, building suspense until the final blood-splattered
moments. Of all the stories this week, this one delivered the most effective
surprise ending. Superb job! I won’t be sleeping tonight.
Runner Up – The
Stranger – Rebekah Postupak - Stunning. A novel-worthy
story packed into 190 words. “The Stranger” paints a fractured marriage, the
efforts a husband takes to fix it, and his wife’s (understandable) reluctance
to trust someone who’s failed her. Word economy is perfect in this piece and that
final line “sober” adds, wraps, and chills. A powerful piece.
Grand Champion – Skin
Changer – asgardana - I adored this take! The voice, the pace, the originality, all
brilliant! One moment it had me laughing (“I was trying to figure out how my
husband’s button down bowling shirt made its way around this woman’s breasts”),
and the next wanting to dash out the door with her. Oh, and this line: “the
noise was not coming from the woman’s mouth but from her skin, her
veins”–delicious! Well done.
