Woohoo! What a ride! If you missed any of our amazing stories this week, go check them out here. We had another RECORD NUMBER of entries this week (SIXTEEN!!! WOW!)! You made the judge work extra hard! Let's read what she had to say:
As one who usually pens
the stories, this was news to me that choosing one grand winner was to be so
difficult. There wasn’t one story I didn’t like and there were six that made
picking the top dog all the harder. But alas, I have chosen a winner. In the end,
it came down to story and the writing combined. I was surprised at how many
took up my challenge. In my writing group, I’m referred to (if by no one, but
me) as the Dialog Whore. A title I rather like. So without further delay,
except to thank all who participated, Alissa for hosting, and Jamie for picking
my mummy story last week, here are my comments and the winners.
@postupak
Burned
I bought the medusa
because Fred said he’d rather be dead than caught with a phoenix. The first
line and where you went with it, really set the bar for everyone else. Nice
acceptance of the challenge, all dialog and the use of a mythological creature.
I’m not sure I understand why she bought her boyfriend a medusa thought. Liked
the end where she’s a phoenix herself.
@LurchMunster
Untitled
Poor Sally, or maybe it
should be Fred I feel bad for after all, he’s now dead. I like the way your
narrator decides being friends with Sally is a better deal than being friends
with people like Fred. Not sure what to think about the gun at work, as I am a
postal worker. Hmmm.
Rashatayaket
Charmed
Nicely done with the
challenge and I like the twist. The cop just didn’t get it. Fred’s been turned
into a dog, do you think that’s somehow poetic justice?
@elainefbayless
Untitled
I like the way the
young girl wanted to drive the hearse today because its Halloween. And the
comment about a fairy godmother. Nice touch with the glass slippers as well. As
for the challenge, you hit the magical, but not the dialog only so challenge not
met. Still a good story.
@CLPauwels
Untitled
Challenge accepted in
deed and I love the voice. I think everyone can empathize with buying and
selling a used car, plus the salesmen are always a treat. He didn’t tell her
about the dings, typical. What did happen to Fred? Well, a little poison maybe.
@StellakateT
Untitled
I like the way the two
sisters are plotting against Fred, even if Gladys isn’t in the game exactly.
Hawaiian shirt was brilliant. People generally love or hate them. Typo in
there, but I ignored that. Although the unicorn was an unexpected twist at
the end, it felt last minute.
@CaseyCaseRose
Trying Something New
Challenge accepted for
sure. I think you’re missing a word in the beginning of the story. I like the
visual of spit roasting Fred. Followed by the twist in the end where she tries
to drive it underwater.
@JessicaCheramie
Middle Earth Pawn
You nailed the special
challenge and I love the mythical creatures that inhabit your story. One thing,
with so many, I lost track of who was talking and who was what.
K.L. Phelps
Dating is Never Easy
Boy, you’ve got that
right, I don’t think I’d want to date a zombie. Sarah should def listen to
Jennifer and not date a zombie for other reasons too. I like the chick-lit
style of this one.
@voimaoy
She's Your Vehicle, Baby
A dragon to ride and
keep as a pet. Love it. I mean, who doesn’t like dragons and they’re so cute.
I’d personally be worried they’d burn down the house, but what do I know. I
like the way the dragon got in on the dialog.
@drmagoo
Untitled
Seems sisters are the
theme this week. Good banter. Not sure I understood the end though.
Sabriam
Untitled
A house elf to help
keep the place clean. I could use one of those. And the part of the elf going
insane if you shave its head. There’s the cross between Harry Potter and
Gremlins with the rules. Brilliant. Even accepted the challenge.
@michaelsimko1
Arrangement of Dreams
Going for the creep
factor I see. So she was given him as payment for his parents to have better
dreams, but he’s plagued with night terrors, nice touch. However, you have
dialog tags and missed the special challenge.
chava812 @ gmail
A POCKETFUL OF STREUSEL
You do like to murder
your men with food don’t you? Nice job by the way. I like the unreliable narrator.
One thing I might comment on is everyone is looking all the time. He doesn’t
like red.
@goldzco21
Channel 12
Consumers cannot die
while using the device. That’s great. Like a consumer has the power to know
when they’re going to die. Interesting way to have a conversation by having the
second party only hmmm. Wonder if Channel 12 will let her stay. This begs to be
expanded.
Pratima
Balabhadrapathruni
Sunny Who Was No Popeye
You bring in mythology
with the scarab beetle but miss the special challenge with dialog tags. I like
the story and how the bug grows and changes. Fred’s fury comes out when she
takes him upstairs with a predictable outcome when she leaves him alone with
the bug. Or is it… nice twist at the end.
I’m taking liberties here because I can. I was told I could
pick a grand champion, special challenge champion and runner ups for both, so I
did.
Special Challenge Runner Up:
@CLpauwels Untitled. The voice came home to roost. If there ever was a time when someone wrote for the judge, I’d say this was it. And did a great job with the story too.
Special Challenge Champion:
@Edenslittleones
Untitled. You think you could send one of those house elves to my house?
I promise not to shave it.
Runner Up:
@chava812 A pocket Full of Streusel Murder by pastry is just so delicious.
Grand Champion:
Rashatayaket Charmed. The dog clinched it for me. Justice served.
Congratulations to all! (Also, Rasha, you didn't leave a twitter account or email address, so could you message me so we can talk about your round of judging next week? Thanks! :) )
Thank you!!! And so sorry I did not leave contact info - it's rashatayaket@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteI'm humbled to be honored among such a great group of writers. I loved all the stories. So glad I did not have to pick, and that you liked mine, and thankful that Rasha provided the email address. Now it's time to go cook something for my new man....hee hee hee. (He did ask me if he should be worried. Should he?)
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