WOW! If you missed any of the amazing stories from Tuesday, go here to read them now! Seriously, you don't want to miss even one! Back? Good. Now let's read what the judge had to say about all that awesomeness:
General comments: Magic lamps simply can't compete with the
power and wonder wrought by a flash fiction writer's imagination. You're
probably tired of hearing it, but one of the (many) joys of a contest like this
one is found in the myriad directions each writer takes a prompt. Two wishes
spent; one left. Are these figurative wishes? magical wishes? And our last
chance for what? The real prompt here was desperation, a thing writers may
understand better than anyone else, and ohhh did you bring it in spades. Thank
you for sharing your stories and your wishes here.
Tamara Shoemaker, "Thief." The magic here is
cruel, as a mother watches her child suffer illness. Talk about desperation!
This one was a tough read, right down to the knife-thrust at the end. At the
same time, I really love how, in a twist on convention, you made fantastical
elements literal. A car's blurred headlights as the Cyclops? Wonderful. And the
curse of the mother's blood, contrasted with the wishes she'd made, makes for a
tragic and emotional conclusion. So much pain, so beautifully told here.
Drmagoo, Untitled. Seriously, "supercilious
simulacrum"???? FAB. U. LOUS. I'm going to find ways to use this in casual
conversations; it's just magnificent. This game show-turned-video game was such
a blast, the Cyclops without depth perception, Morganna the Kissing Bandit, and
a game show hosted by a Genie? These characters are fresh and funny, and made
this piece a true delight to read.
JM MacF, "Your Wish is My Command." Loved this
story told from a genie's POV, which came across as a unique (and incredibly
frustrated!) perspective. I wonder how careless we are with wishes on a daily
basis? "Be careful what you wish for," is the adage, and one you
illustrated so well here (though I do know people for whom a lifetime supply of
bacon may genuinely be among their top three wishes!!). The genie's longing for
a master to make a wise wish is almost palpable. Nice.
Stella, "Winning is Not Always Wise." What a trip!
(hahaha) It was refreshing to meet a character whose wish was actually, it
would seem, the right one for once. The Mars trip interpreted as candy and a
sporting protest (Go, Spurs!), along with the genie's perhaps too-close-to-home
observation were hilarious. I'd love to know what the genie thought after she
made her wish! Stuffing her face with candy at the end was just perfect, a
wonderfully self-centered balance to her two self-centered wish-mates. Such
fun. And extra points for bringing me Cadbury.
Michael Seese, "The Final Wish." Now THIS was a
labyrinth, haha! Your chatty asides had me laughing out loud; I think my
favorite was, "(b)roken glass, razor wire, cobras." Totally snorted
on that one. The appearance of the avatar at the end capped the adventure
perfectly, sort of like Tron but with humor and sarcasm, and what a perfect
ending. Like the maze itself, this story twisted and turned and dragged me,
laughing, along with it. A great read.
David Shakes, Untitled. HOWLED. Talk about wishes gone
wrong!!! this was just brilliant, from the island stranding to the parrot
needing its mouth washed with soap, to Pamela Anderson. Love, love, love this
sentence: "A strange smile crept across Jim's face and I knew we were
doomed." Just wonderful. I can totally envision how the rest of their days
will play out. Let's see, the parrot's first, and then....? This story had it
all: adventure, plotting, humor. A riot.
Voimaoy, "Battle of Wits." With a title like that,
my expectations soared, and you did not disappoint. I love that you took the
story to a place I didn't expect: choosing sides for a magnificent, otherworldly
exhibition game. It's hard to imagine having a cyclops and Cerberus on one's
team yielding disaster--but you pulled it off spectacularly. And I think this
may have been my favorite ending line of all the stories this round:
"Across the arena, my first officer was laughing. 'I'll take the dragon,'
she said." (Right up there with another great line, "Why hadn't I
thought of Godzilla?") What a glorious attitude to balance out the MC's
grim despair. A blast from start to finish.
Necwrites, "Loose Lips." Another totally hilarious
piece, the two seniors stuck in hell thanks to careless wishes. I am in awe of
how you so artfully incorporated the backstory halfway through--that was some
serious craft, Nancy. And my goodness. Allergic to hell's brimstone/mildew? and
calling Cerberus "doggie"? I just about lost it. I would give a great
deal to read this story's next scene. How does one explain a three-headed
hellhound to the super?? Great imagination, marvelous characterization here.
JenFaust, Untitled. This story may have come closest to my
Arabian Nights-inspired vision, with the man, his magic ring, and the
mysterious woman at the oasis. I loved how Rashad stamped his foot and caused a
coconut to plummet--too funny. And like some of the best tales in history, this
genie appears to be deliciously untrustworthy. What is this glowing ring, and
who is Layla? I have a feeling quite a few more adventures await for these
characters! Such a vivid and colorful world you've built for them. Great job.
Taryn Noelle Kloeden, "The Cost." Fairy tale
mixups/mashups are one of my favorite concepts, and you've pulled one off here
with originality and style. The old woman demanding her question be answered
before granting the wish reminded me of some of my favorite myths and that
fabulous scene from Monty Python ("What is the airspeed velocity of an
unladen swallow?"). It's compelling reading that kept pulling me forward
in the way of the best sorts of stories. And while Ali Baba's Morgiana (the
inspiration behind the prompt) is a great deal nicer than who yours turned out
to be, you made the whole thing a delightful ride.
Mysoulstears, "Wishes Are a Bitch to Make."
Perfection. I mean it. I love how you started in the rather dark, eerie present
before catapulting us back into an almost flippant past. Not only did that very
cool trick deliver the necessary backstory, but you contrasted the blissful
ignorance of the characters' past with their far different, totally intriguing
current situation. This story reminded me of one of my favorite childhood
books, "Half-Magic," where innocent wishes made on a coin similarly
turned out not nearly how the wishers expected. Except this was the grownup,
darker, funnier, more gripping version. It was intelligent, thought-provoking,
and elegantly structured. I loved every bit.
Case Rose, "Nothing Better." Oh, this story was
just lovely. If JM MacF's corresponding adage was, "Be careful what you
wish for," yours must be, "The grass is always greener on the other
side." It was so hard watching the MC's wishes turn out in the expected
but tragic way they did. I really love how you unfolded the outcome with a sort
of grim humor. That middle part was just awesome: "Also a pigeon pooped
all over me. It could have been coincidence, but being really rich had started
to feel like there was some bad juju attached." What a brilliant example
of showing/not telling, in sketching this character for us and letting us
figure him out on our own. And what I particularly love is the implied
personality of the genie, whose silence at the MC's last wish must surely
connote surprise, or respect. A really lovely tale, well-executed, and
beautifully ended.
WINNERS
Chocolate award: Stella, because I counted at least four
chocolate bars, which means two for each hand, which means bliss.
Best phrase award: Drmagoo, Supercilious simulacrum. 'Nuff
said.
Special Challenge Champion: Voimaoy, for pulling off a genius battle
in the vein of aliens vs zombies, with a genie/Jeanie, Cerberus, and cyclops
losing to a Morgiana, Godzilla, and dragon. I would pay to watch such a thing.
Grand Champion: Mysoulstears. Not "just" funny, not
"just" a good read. "Wishes" brings character development,
sophisticated structure, snappy dialogue, and a fantastic ending, rounding off
a really, really good piece of flash.
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