The stories were SO GOOD this week, and there were SO MANY, that the judging took a wee bit longer than normal. Well...he got it done on Thursday, but it wasn't until after I went to sleep. :) (Granted, it was a bit of an early night...) So, if you missed out on reading all of the awesomeness, go check it out here. Otherwise, here's what the judge had to say (Thanks, Michael!):
Thank you to everyone who entered.
Fifteen entries this week. Miss Alissa said this was a new
record. More important, fifteen wonderful stories without a weak one in the
mix. I thoroughly enjoyed reading all the entries, and that makes trying to
pick this week’s champion very hard. In my judging method I ranked works — we
had nine tie. This is trying to judge who is prettiest at a pretty-person
convention (they have those, right?).
We had stories with people falling, with forgiveness, and
with revenge. Spaceships, ghosts, and made wonderful appearances. We had many
nameless characters, we had male and female characters, and even an it. We had
fairy-tale princesses and cabin boys who would grow to be pirates.
Carolyn Askfalk: A haunting tale of regret with powerful
emotions. Then to mix in the feelings that his love may have died hiding that
she was still in love with her husband. This drips with hurt and it’s
wonderful. Kudos, your made up words were so subtle I tried to look them up.
Great line with: “Only hate would sentence a man to a
lifetime of guilt”.
Michael Seymour: This is a great beginning if you wanted to
pull this into a larger story. Wow, pulled off to be the angel of death (or
something close). I love the “Go ahead. I probably deserve it.” We learn the nameless protagonist’s
motivations and personality quickly. I have to confess to being confused by the
ending and wondering what the evil soul heading to heaven did.
Giselle Marks: A fantastic story of alien encounters. I love
how you dodged every cliche of the genre and made it your own. The aliens
showing up as children is creepy. This story seems to beg for more — it could
easily support a short story or longer. Nice try by the moalfs trying to play
on human emotions before being led off. After all, the law is the law.
Rebekah Postupak: What great use of new words that need no
explanation (though you gave them at the end). The lad has kissed plenty of
cold fish — I hope he wasn’t a mortician. Very fun play against the fairy tale
tropes. I can picture Rapunzel dropping our nameless protagonist to the ground
below.
Melina Gillies: Any first paragraph that ends with, “I am
the devil” is one I love. Then it takes a delightful series of turns. He was
guilty, then violent, then going to die, then forgiven. Your descriptions are
wonderful: ”A firm touch — delicate and sure”, “raw and battle-scarred like my
soul”. This is a heck of a roller coaster in under 500 words.
Quenby Olsen: Whoa nelly. A demonic possession always is a favorite. This
feels like Poe where the narrator is horrified but can’t leave. You have a way
with horror, and it shows in this piece. The eyes snapping open while the heat
surrounds him is chilling (which is odd, considering it’s warming).
Erica Rahaman: I don’t know how you made a sweet, endearing
troll story, but you did. The father is so believable in his adoration of his daughter.
No fair playing the father card against me. Who knew trolls were so noble and
caring. I expected that the other trolls gave the dragon the daughter — but
instead you popped a strong twist.
Jessica Dragon Cheramie: Whoa. Mind = blown. I was digging
the writing and wondering what has happening and then her father’s head is on a
plate. What a fun twist (fun in a head-on-a-plate kind of way). Your writing is
very strong and the dialogue intermingles very well with the action. I adore
how “she” was worried about blood on her chairs more than her father being
killed. This would make for a heck of a fun introduction to a novel.
Stella Kate: Ohhh, our first switch to where the POV is the
one saying the words. And then to make it more wonderful, your character lied.
I can picture the Donny Osmond poster on the wall (thank you for that). The
senses are great through this, smells, sounds, feelings, emotions. This is a
wonderful story, and what a great introduction to your magically-capable
protagonist.
Imageronin: You have to love a story that could be read
multiple ways. Through it I was sure that our protagonist had murdered his
lover so he could be with the other member of their trio. Then that assessment
is ripped away. This is a very deep piece masquerading as a macabre piece. The
tone of this work works to set a bitterly sweet creep factor.
Mysoulstears / @LurchMunster: Beautiful. I could tell where
the story was going and still loved every sentence. The descriptions of how he
knew her mood was wonderful. The quandary we want to know: how can our
protagonist read everyone else’s mind but hers?
JM MacF: Could this be the finest fan flash fiction ever?
Who doesn’t love Princess Bride? This is a fantastic back story for the tale.
Poor Wes. I have to admit, I wasn’t sure snugget was something you made up, or
if I just don’t know words for headwear. This fiction needs to be seen more.
The only little gotcha, you repeated two sentences (Got caught…). Was that on
purpose? I had a sense of matrix deja vu, but I’m thinking it’s not. (My
apologies if it’s something too clever for me).
Murmade: The wizard returns. This is a fun dive into a world
of magic. I love how much you were able to convey while keeping in one scene.
The lady wizard waiting for the return of her man is touching. Like good flash,
it raises as many questions as it does answers them. Now I want to know why the
wizard didn’t know who he was, and what happened to the person the wizard
inhabited. This needs to be a short story.
ChristianFlashWeekly: As a father to a girl I am taking
notes. The machetes are touch of class, and would look great over my steps.
Very nice how you tied the girl’s forgiveness to the father’s over
protectiveness without letting him know why. The Burger weight gain is likely
true.
Lori: Rebels doing what they can. I love how Vodka forgave
our protagonist — despite knowing well who had caused what. The image of a
dirigible of death is vivid. At first I pictured Steam Punk, then over to
something more akin to Blade Runner. Very cool how Vodka walked off to certain
death with an air of dignity while our protagonist realized it was him/her who
did it.
Special Challenge: Include two words and use them in your
story. They should come across as natural. Extra difficulty: No proper nouns or
food names.
What great imagination and wonderful usage. This is the most
subjective thing we could ask since it’s playing off the judge’s imagination
and experience. But then, that’s writing. The real unfairness is the best
made-up word probably was so good that I hadn’t noticed it was made up.
Special Challenge Runner-Up: JM Mac F!
I loved expendiary so much that
I had to google to see why no one has used it. You know you did well when your
made up word is so natural that others did.
Special Challenge Champion: imageronin!
For making me check to
see how many of the words used were real. I award you the special prize: Person
who taught me the most words this week. Druggernaut is a fantastic word, and
may start a whole category of steamdrugpunk by itself.
Story Prompt: [She] whisper[s], “I forgive you,” as [her]
hand slip[s] out of mine.
Having to choose makes me want to write things that will
blow this blog’s PG rating. So many great stories to choose from — but one must
be chosen. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for keeping it clean! And thanks to the writers for writing such awesomeness that you had to bite your tongue! :)
The entries are so competitive that judging has had to go to
the old staple of who had the cleanest entry to go with great story. And even
that made it tight. In the end, the choice was to go with the cleanest
manuscript that spoke to me strongest.
Grand Champion: Carolyn Astfalk!
The premise that our protagonist tried to
save his lover, only to realize, or rationalize, that her death was punishment
is too engrossing to ignore. Your story covered a range of bitter sweet
emotions: Guilt, sorrow, despair, hate. “For the rest of my sorry days, peace
would slip through my grasp just the same as her hand.”
No comments:
Post a Comment