Wannabe

This is my entry for Jeffrey Hollar's Monday Mixer flash contest. He has nine words you need to include (well, three of the nine, technically) in the piece...I couldn't help including ALL NINE in ONE SENTENCE! I really couldn't help it. Really. It just came out that way! I'm serious! It was too much fun and way too overachiever-y, BUT I REALLY COULDN'T HELP IT!  :)  So, anyway, here's my story (150 words exactly, as per the rules) with all nine words (in the first sentence!).

Wannabe

 

Well, you certainly do seem to typify a modern day prodigal son: your vainglorious ideals – thinking you were the exemplar of a son of society – and your inability to glance at a décolletage without being ensorcelled by the promise of more, left a slew of debilitated women in your wake and a fractious relationship with every single member of your entire family. However, the parallel breaks down at this point in your story.”

“What do you mean? I went off to live my own life then came back. Exactly the same. I deserve this.”

“Have you ever read the original story?”

“No. But everyone knows how it goes.”

“I’m sorry, but there’s something lacking from your application.”

“Excuse me? I didn’t reconcile with my arrogant father and suck up to my prick of a brother and his know-it-all friends so you could turn me down! What am I missing?!?!?”

“Humility.”