FINISH THAT THOUGHT #3-11 - RESULTS!

We have a rare occurrence that the judge is super early AND I have time before I normally would, SO you get to have the results blissfully early! Everyone rejoice! ...And go finish reading all the entries here! Then read the judges comments below:

Sara Marschand, “Pixie Snacks”

It’s hard to find very much sympathy for Steve-O. Drunken frat boys—haven’t they seen any horror movie, ever? They’re the character most likely to receive owies from Hollywood. Is this cardinal sin deserving of his eventual gruesome fate as pixie food? If not, Steve-O’s willingness to relieve himself in any random frat-brother’s room probably is.

@RealMommaRamble, “Sometimes Expressions Are More than ‘Just an Expression’”

Poor Charlie. Getting up on the wrong side of bed is never fun, particularly when you’re struggling with a midnight burrito. Mom was right again. When your morning gets off to a start like this, it might be best to climb back in bed. That is, if you can find your own bed again…

Geoff Holme, (a.k.a. slow poke) “Late Entry”

I’ve done the “no inspiration until 3 a.m.” thing. It really sucks when you draw a blank on a short deadline, too. It’s a perfect poem, and very apropos to the challenge.

But as Flo the Progressive Insurance lady says, “Only Winners get sprinkles.”

Special Challenge Champion

Richard Edenfield, “Johnny Lightning and the Lost Civilization of Toys”

This piece reminded me strongly of Rod Serling’s SF, and feels like a Twilight Zone episode (particularly the ending). Big contrast between the settings, and a “damn I should’ve seen that coming” ending (but I didn’t). Bonus: You can never go wrong with Hot Wheels, and this story has ‘em. Thank you for the big grin, Richard, excellently told.

Runner Up

Lauren Greene, “Foibles and Follies”

Our protagonist begins a very bad day the same way most people do, with a commute; a commute that launches a comedy of errors. From her car to the E.R., her journey is fraught with terrors (and pain!) Personally, I’ve always wanted to slug bad phlebotomy techs; one hard punch for each clumsy stab seems like a fair exchange rate, doesn’t it?

Grand Champion

Danielle Donaldson, “Untitled”

This wonderful tale is all about stealing precious moments away from the tiny terrors. Every mother has surely felt similar relief. You shouldn’t feel eager to avoid your own children…but “Me time” is essential. Mom has another guilty-pleasure sin, the rich chocolate and her daydream micro-vacation. A very vivid vision (alliteration!) of the perfect break, at least for a while, and some successfully segued shifts of setting (!!!).

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #3-11

So... I FINALLY finished editing the scene I've been struggling over for two months!!! I'm not finished editing the novel yet (obviously), but this scene was brutal and I'm moving on! YAY! This novel will get finished eventually. That's one of the things I love about flash: the sense of accomplishment and completion you get right away. You wrote a whole thing and finished it, and that's worthy of celebration. So go write a thing, and finish it. Prompt is below. :)



If you haven't read the full version of the rules, go here. Otherwise, here's the short version:

Rules:
1. Start with the given first sentence.
2. Up to 500 words
3. Keep it clean (nothing rated R or above)
4. Optional Special Challenge
5. Stories submitted must be your own work, using characters and worlds that you have created. Sorry, no fanfiction.
6. Include: Twitter/email, word count, Special Challenge accepted
7. The challenge is open for 24 hours on Tuesday EST



Oh, and feel free to change pronouns, punctuation, tense, and anything in brackets to fit the story/pov/tone. I'm not going to be TOO picky... Our judge however...


Our Judge today is D.E. Park. Read his winning tale from last week here! Dave (D. E. Park) spends his spare time writing flash and micro fiction, and just attempting to get enough sleep. He’s a first-generation computer nerd (older than the internet), a lifetime devourer of SF&F (loser geek), even a comic book fan (three strikes!). He actually hasn’t been actively writing for very long (you can't tell?) He lives in Chicagoland with his wife Annie. Follow him @parkinkspot and check out his writing blog at parkinkspot.wordpress.com.

 Your first sentence for FINISH THAT THOUGHT #3-11 is:

Some mornings you're the [snail], not the [sparrow].

 Your SPECIAL CHALLENGE from the judge is:

Begin and end your story in two distinctly different settings/milieus. When, where, how, why to transition is up to you. Bonus points for contrast and humor.

 AAAAAAAND WE'RE OFF!!!

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #3-10 - RESULTS!

Congratulations! So many great stories! If you missed any of them, you can read them all here. Finished? Great! Here's what the judge had to say:

What a week of stories! I wanted a prompt that could go anywhere, and boy did you all deliver. I had a hard time picking a winner, because I thought they were all well done. What fun!

@hollygeely – Holly brings us the story of Jeff and the alpaca in Wallowing. I laughed when I read this story. I loved how the alpaca turned into fruit salad. Then I read it again, and I realized Jeff is happy with his life. He’s happy being a normal guy who knows how to knit, and he doesn’t need a fruit-salad alpaca to turn him into a hero. How wonderful to be satisfied with your life. Maybe a more appropriate title would have been Winning at Life, because Jeff certainly is. The wallower is the alpaca. Well done. (But are you sure he wasn’t on drugs?)

@MadilynQuinn – What I loved about your story, Madilyn, was how you turned “No One” into a person (er…an entity). This story gave me the creeps, but also made me want to hear more. What happened after James went out the window? There’s definitely a longer story inside this short. You used the special challenge words effortlessly. Great Job.

@needanidplease – This story had me rolling at the end. When Debra is in the house and Mrs. Lang is talking about chains, I thought she had her husband chained up in the backyard. The feeling of being in a new town, and getting accustomed to everything is so clearly described here (and boy do I know that feeling!). I love how we get the sense that nothing is right, and then the last sentence brings us back to reality. Great use of the special challenge words too! Well done.

@MichaelSimko1 – There’s so much going on here. Coins for passage to the other side. A bitter spirit intent on bringing his mother to her demise. A husband who seems glad for the death of his wife. I think you could turn this into a much larger story, like a novel. I love the way you talk about the tracks and then in the next sentence the rails. The railroad imagery is persistent—a way out—and then her tokens to the other realm are stolen by the very child who caused her to lose her life. Great job Simko.

@melinagillies – I love the way you wove the special challenge words into the story. And you tell us so much in so few words. Albert, guilty on the streets of New York, and haunted by his past criminal deeds. Reading this, I felt the moistness of the water surrounding the ghost and the uncomfortableness of Albert(o). And in the end, the snow solidified the feeling—cold, harsh, and cruel. Great job.

HONORABLE MENTION

@GeoffHolme – Oh James (or is it Mike?). Trying to end a relationship, but keeps falling into bed (literally) with Rhona even though he’s no longer interested. I could feel the tension between him and Rhona and the uncomfortableness of the very early birthday present. Such a human experience, and you describe it so perfectly. There’s nothing harder than breaking up, and especially when the woman is so smoking hot! I’m wondering if he really did change the locks the next day or if he let her back into his house? I had to look up David Dickinson by the way, and yes, his face is tan-orange! 

SPECIAL CHALLENGE CHAMPION

Richard Edenfield – Funny and creepy. I loved the way you repeated the special challenge words in the book the witch was reading. And the way you described the woman’s hair like melted syrup—such a visual picture. Bored with her life and set out to change it, although the husband is the protagonist, the witch-woman is really the agent of change. Well done, and I thought about this long after I read it and wondered if her husband still wore his alpaca sweater and ate oranges after he ran off!

GRAND CHAMPION

@ParkInkSpot – I loved how Uncle Mitch’s character comes alive with the one word “Nawp.” This story reminded me of the movie “Mothman,” and brings with it the themes of life, death, and the realm beyond. Haunting, but there’s something so simplistic and amazing about the narrator’s delivery. The description of the uncle’s spirit as a diseased buzzard at the end sums up his life and fits so well with his real-life job of cleaning up roadkill.  I’ll be thinking about this story for ages to come.

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #3-10

The USA celebrated Labor Day on Monday, and it got me thinking about work. I googled what the holiday was (I knew the basics, but was interested in the details), and one phrase stood out to me: the contributions of the working people. A day to celebrate those who do any job (which is EVERY job) that contributes to the economy and the morale of the people. Even if you don't live in the USA, Thank you for the work that you do. Even if it seems thankless. Even if it seems pointless. Even if it frustrates you. Even if there are moments, or days, or months where you wish you could be doing anything else... Thank you. But thank you most of all for the work you share here, that many of you don't ever get paid for. The art that you bring to this world. The inspiration. The empathy. The joy. The story. You each have a precious gift that CONTRIBUTES to society. I celebrate you today. Thanks for joining us. Go check out the prompt and get started again! You are all amazing!

If you haven't read the full version of the rules, go here. Otherwise, here's the short version:

Rules:
1. Start with the given first sentence.
2. Up to 500 words
3. Keep it clean (PG-13)
4. Optional Special Challenge
5. Stories submitted must be your own work, using characters and worlds that you have created. Sorry, no fanfiction.
6. Include: Twitter/email, word count, Special Challenge accepted
7. The challenge is open for 24 hours on Tuesday EST



Oh, and feel free to change pronouns, punctuation, tense, and anything in brackets to fit the story/pov/tone. I'm not going to be TOO picky... Our judge however...


Our Judge today is Lauren Greene. Read her winning tale from last week here! Lauren Greene lives in Alabama where she spends most of her time procrastinating. When she's not thinking of all the things she has to do, she's actually doing them! She is a banker, but her passion is writing. She's recently published a Southern Fiction book, The Devil Within. When she's not writing or working, she's busy with her husband, chasing her three kids, and working out! 

You can find out more about Lauren at her website laurengreenewrites.com and follow her on twitter @laurenegreene.



Your first sentence for FINISH THAT THOUGHT #3-10 is:

He knew he heard a scream, but when he turned around he was surprised to see no one was there.

 Your SPECIAL CHALLENGE from the judge is:

Include three of the following: an alpaca wool sweater, a muddy lake, an orange, Istanbul.

 AAAAAAAND WE'RE OFF!!!

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #3-9 - RESULTS!

September rolled in with bells and whistles! You all are amazing and should be proud of the pieces you wrote. If you missed any of them, go read them here. Done? Great! Now let's read what the judge had to say:

Wow. 8 fantastic entries this week, and I couldn't have imagined a more varied response to the prompt. This judge was overwhelmed by the quality and creativity of each piece. I am a judging newbie and want to make sure I comment on every entry so here goes:

Richard Edenfield - "The Method of Fried Chicken"

This one took me back to the annals of high school drama classes everywhere and made me smile. Part Psychology of the Theatre, Part Samuel Beckett, this piece was a beautiful layer cake of meaning. I loved how the performer finally dug down, and we were treated to a beautiful vision of hazy southern summers and the comfort of town-famous chicken. Well done.

Holly Geely – "Medusa's Wish"

I never thought I would say this but, poor Medusa. This piece was very reminiscent of Margaret Atwood's The Penelopiad and it is always great to see a story from a "villain's" point of view. Moreover, that Athena! What a fickle goddess. I love the telling detail in arachnid's thoughts, and the transgression my Medusa as she totally owned the slithering reference by the end of the piece.

Carlos Orozco – "Small"

This was a descriptive masterpiece that kept me genuinely wondering until the last word. I love how this story looked at the negative memory aspect of the olfactory system. It was an emotional, focused piece that drew the reader in—and left me wondering what had happened to this woman. I would love to read more.

Geoff Holme – "Fowl Play"

I love the double entendre of the title, and the interesting take on the prompt (though some of the required elements of the first sentence were absent, but the story was so good I let it slide) My impression of Elizabeth wavered from "brat" to "poor kid" to "oh my God, she's eating her feelings the poor thing" I was left wondering if Nando's had a subconscious role—a family meal shared in happier times perhaps? The wavering thoughts about all the characters made a very real piece about the family struggles after a break-up and was thought-provoking.

ParkInkSpot – "O'Malley's Exotic Poultry Supply"

Great job illustrating the multiple (and somewhat jumbled) thoughts that run through a person's head during a crisis. I did find myself strangely attracted to the weird chicks and wondering if they were bred to suicidal tendencies or if this was a naturally occurring phenomenon. They are obviously curious creatures given the way one jumped up on Tessa's desk. This story left me with questions about their origins—and the mysterious O'Malley. Perhaps a subconscious need as humans to create a breed of chicken eager for the slaughter rather than the horror stories one sees on the news?

Lauren Greene – "Don't Be a Chicken"

I think "alight on my nose" was my favourite quote of the contest. I appreciate a piece that can completely encompass the special challenge with vigour and make 436 words about KFC sound appealing. This story successfully evoked the smell, texture, taste—and gut wrenching guilt involved in consuming a bucket of fried chicken. I laughed at the justifying thoughts many of us women feel (and possibly men too) about how much bad food we can get away with following a session at the gym. Funny, and endearing (aw Marco – you are fallible like the rest of us!) I really enjoyed this story.

Quenby Olson – "Only Rebecca"

This story was very Paltrow-esque in a Sliding Doors kind of way and I love stories that detail how a missed moment (or gained opportunity if you're a glass-half-full type of person) can completely change the trajectory of our day—or even our life. Why is it that our clothes always seem to have a funky smell when we're feeling bad about our appearance? A real story about a flawed heroine and I loved the telling detail about her unraveling chignon. It did leave me wondering how many handsome millionaires are taking the subway for fun (and how I could get in on that action!)

Michael Simko – "Persuasion"

The ingenuity here which breathes new life into an ancient myth was bloody fantastic…and anything that mentions Canada's national dish gets a nod from me J I was impressed that the omniscient being was female, and a role reversal from the typical man-God aspect, yet the story still emitted faint wisps of the reality of mundane married life (No you can't watch the game because [insert wifely comment here]) Nonetheless there's a brilliant layer there revolving around a tiny spider, and the vulnerability only a wife would know. The modern setting was brilliant—though the image of babies smacking into concrete did awaken a visceral reaction in me. Thoroughly enjoyable.

Wow – these stories were all brilliant, and I had to read each several times to pick up the intonations in each. There can only be one Grand Champion however (and a few runners-up) so here we go!

Honorable Mention – Holly Geely

The multi-faceted, and unique spin on Medusa's curse was too brilliant to ignore. I truly enjoyed how this piece had elements that in just a few words took the story to much deeper levels, and provided a fresh look from the perspective of Medusa. It reminds me of the final lines of the Phantom of the Opera "He had a heart that could have held the empire of the world, and in the end he had to content himself with a cellar. Surely we may pity the Opera Ghost." Anything that lets us see a base need in a villain is a great read.

Special Challenge Champion – ParkInkSpot

I love how this story took the special challenge and rolled with it (no pun intended) in a unique direction. Part expose on the chicken factory business, part human nature, this piece was really unexpected and utterly refreshing.

Grand Champion – Lauren Greene

Though one of the lighter pieces, I think this story highlights the vulnerability of the human body as we try (and fail miserably) at striking a balance between indulgence and discipline. I loved the happy ending and the use of imagery that used very raw language to invoke a palpable sense to the piece. I felt like I was standing under fluorescent lights, out of breath and sweaty in workout clothes, while a bead of grease tricked down my chin. There is something special about a story that can transport you to the very scene itself. Great job!

What a ride! Thank you all for allowing me to experience the inner-workings of your mind with these fantastic stories. I think flash fiction has a real advantage in producing real work that highlights a writer's personality, and I was thrilled (honoured) to be a judge this week!

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #3-9

And, so... September. Can you believe it? I certainly can't. You'd think after all my comments this year about time flying by so quickly that it wouldn't surprise me that we're two-thirds of the way through the year now, but it still does. I hope you've had a great one so far! Thanks for joining us for the fun this week. Go check out the prompt and get writing!



If you haven't read the full version of the rules, go here. Otherwise, here's the short version:

Rules:
1. Start with the given first sentence.
2. Up to 500 words
3. Keep it clean (PG-13)
4. Optional Special Challenge
5. Stories submitted must be your own work, using characters and worlds that you have created. Sorry, no fanfiction.
6. Include: Twitter/email, word count, Special Challenge accepted
7. The challenge is open for 24 hours on Tuesday EST



Oh, and feel free to change pronouns, punctuation, tense, and anything in brackets to fit the story/pov/tone. I'm not going to be TOO picky... Our judge however...


Our Judge today is Melina Gillies. Read her winning tale from last week here! Check out her website at www.melinagillies.com. 
Melina is a writer who believes that flawed characters make the best romantics. To date, she has two published short stories under her belt, and a full length novel somewhere up her sleeve (she just can't remember where she tucked it). When she's not writing, you can find her telling her kids not to jump from high places (yes, all of them), and eating copious amounts of chocolate (often at the same time). She can always be found on Twitter @melinagillies, especially when she's supposed to be somewhere else.



Your first sentence for FINISH THAT THOUGHT #3-9 is:

Oh no, please no, thought [Rebecca] as she ran toward [the subway platform].

 Your SPECIAL CHALLENGE from the judge is:

Incorporate the smell of fried chicken into your story.

 AAAAAAAND WE'RE OFF!!!

FINISH THAT THOUGHT #3-8 - RESULTS!

Congratulations to everyone who participated!!! If you missed any of the amazing stories, go read them here. Done? Great! Now read what the judge had to say:

Ten entries, and such a mix of genres along with inventive uses of both the prompt and the special challenge that I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. This is also my very first attempt at judging a flash fiction contest, so bear with me as I work my way through each and every captivating piece of work.

Reviews:

Holly Geely: Of Mice with Men

A creative entry with a Monty Python quote and a plot that brings to mind a twisted successor to something like the Redwall series. I feel like there could be a whole world uncovered here, and this only touches the surface.

Lauren Greene: No Sweeter Words

A short and sweet coming-of-age tale told in a few paragraphs. Smooth prose, and characters that I want to see in the next comfort-food movie I watch on Netflix. And it made me smile.

Sheri Williams: Austen is Always Right

More Monty Python! I’m sensing a trend here (and not one with which I have any sort of a problem). This one is light and romantic, with witty banter - via text - that makes it a lovely ode to Miss Austen herself.

Andra Jenkin: The Impossible List

And the romance continues, which shouldn’t surprise me with the prompt. But I love that each one has its own voice, and this one has a main character with a voice I’d love to hear more from. Please let me know when you flesh this out into a longer story I can really sink my teeth into.

asgardana: The First-Ten-Millennium

Now we tumble into Sci-Fi territory, and it is riveting. A cold, impersonal future, where people dissect the beloved classics of the past in order to show the reader what we could (will?) become. Nicely done.

ParkInkSpot: Back Off, Damned Sirens

Rich prose dominates this piece. Something menacing lurks beneath the words of the first part of the story, to be rewarded by that sudden twist and brief shot of violence at the end before the classic fade-to-black. I gasped on the last line, and for good reason.

Jude Knight: Untitled

This is the first of the entries that adheres to the time period from which the prompt comes, and it is a delight. In a few short lines, I was immersed in a world of stays and fans and the warmth of candlelight. This was just a snippet, but it promised such greater things to come.

Michael Simko: To Woo the Lady

Ah, and now we have the nod at Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. And it is hilarious. I feel like I should have a more detailed list of comments to make, but I don’t. It’s just a fun story, the whole farfegnugen thing.

Melina Gillies: Untitled

This is a nice twist, a story told from the perspective we’re perhaps (depending on our life choices) not supposed to root for. A wannabe mistress looking for her next conquest. Her desperation - and her confidence that she’ll succeed - waft from the page like overpowering perfume. And, oh, what an ending!

Geoff Holme: Say It Again, Sam

Now this is taking the Special Challenge to the next level. Nearly all the dialogue is spoken in quotes, and some of them so cleverly done that it starts to feel like an Abbot & Costello routine. I almost wish the word count limit was longer so I could see how more quotes would be woven in.

***

Now, this was a difficult task for me. I wanted to do all my judging and write-ups last night, and found myself going back and forth over several pieces and needing a bit more time to be confident with my final decision. And I needed coffee. That always helps.

Honorable Mention: asgardana. Probably the best twisting of the prompt, sending us into the future, into a world so unlike what Austen wrote about that I almost experienced a chill while reading it.

Special Challenge Champion: Geoff Holme. A piece that took the special challenge and ran with it like a dog with a squeaky chew toy. I’m not sure whether to shake my head or start up a round of applause.

Grand Champion: Melina Gillies. A story that managed to flirt with the pasts of each person, rounding them up to complete characters with only a few well-chosen lines. And that note in the pocket… I may or may not have punched the air while reading it.

Overall, really well done this week. Judging was more difficult than I thought, mostly because of the sheer talent on display. Thank you for letting me sit back and enjoy your work.